It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
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I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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