careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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