I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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