I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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