I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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