All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
