butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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