It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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