How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
