the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
