Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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