pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
