bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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