Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
