If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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