i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
