apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize