You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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