Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
