the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
