I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize