he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
