Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
