he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
