I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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