I wish i was in the wii world.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
