If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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