I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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