I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
