I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
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you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
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He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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