Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
