I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm both gender and math confused
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
