Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
