oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
