May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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