I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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