so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
