you traded sex for a burrito?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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