I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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