ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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