What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
