I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
