I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Do vagina's smell?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
