Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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