They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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