Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
