Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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