Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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