His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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