maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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