How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
