I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize