If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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