Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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