So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
