Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Actions speak louder than pants.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
