I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you didnt know i had herpes?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
