lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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