I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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